


Disciplinary

by Janamelie



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/pseuds/Janamelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of "Stasis Leak", Todhunter attempts to find out what happened.  His crush on an oblivious Lister hampers matters.</p><p>I wasn't sure how to rate this so erred on the side of caution for very mild innuendo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disciplinary

**Author's Note:**

> A silly little ficlet which I couldn't get out of my head.

Frank Todhunter took a distracted sip of his coffee and cursed as boiling liquid burned his tongue.  "Ow!  Smegging hell!"

He wrenched the lid off his water bottle and took a soothing gulp.  _Get a grip, man..._

The way he was feeling was absurd.  Not only was it inappropriate given his position, he was seriously beginning to worry that his behaviour would give him away and he would become the subject of the latest juicy gossip.  The ship was full of bored or envious people who would revel in his discomfort.

It wasn't fair to Lister, either.  Badly though the lad had let himself down with this stupid prank.

 _Lad?_ He really needed to stop thinking so indulgently of a twenty-five year old who was more than old enough to understand the consequences of his actions.  If only he didn't look like a cheeky schoolboy...

He jumped at the sound of his office buzzer.  "Come in!"  It somehow emerged as a strangled squeak which was barely audible.  He raised his voice and repeated himself.  It came out as a shout.

 

 

 

The automatic doorlock flashed green.  "Third Technician Dave Lister reporting for a spanking."

"WHAT?!"

An involuntary vision of the rounded curves he had stolen too many glances at popped into Todhunter's head.  His hand clutched the bottle so tightly that water splashed upwards, soaking his chin.  He fumbled a tissue from the box on his desk, wiped himself down and threw it at the bin, missing badly.  Luckily it was out of sight beneath his desk.

"Sorry, sir," Lister muttered.  "Thought if I made yer laugh you might go easier on me."

Flushing at Lister's choice of words and hoping that Lister had taken his reaction for shock or anger, the officer gestured at a chair.  "Sit down, please.  And no more "jokes".  This is serious."

Lister automatically propped his feet on the desk, caught Todhunter's eye and swiftly brought them down again.  He settled for his customary open legged seating position, affording the officer a ringside view of his generous endowment.  Hastily averting his eyes, Todhunter rifled through the pile of paperwork in front of him.  A paper slipped through his unsteady hands and fluttered to the carpet.

"I'll get it."  Lister bent forwards, retrieved it and handed it back.  Todhunter's cheeks burned as their fingers brushed.  What had come over him?  He wasn't into kinky stuff - why were the words "Lister" and "spanking" in the same sentence sending his brain into meltdown?  He made a big show of replacing the paper in its correct place in order to buy some time as he gave himself a firm mental talking to.

"Thank you.  Now, what have you to say for yourself?"

"Sorry?" Lister offered, his eyes downcast.

"I'm afraid that's not good enough, Lister.  I do have the full story here, don't I?  You served Rimmer hallucinogenic mushrooms for breakfast because - and I quote - you "thought it would be a laugh"...  Lister gave an uncertain nod.

"...causing him to assault two senior officers and later the Captain, who is still in the medibay after involuntarily ingesting paint and being kicked in ... a certain sensitive area.  Rimmer keeps babbling about visitors from the future and is being assessed by Brannigan.  What possessed you?"

Lister's expression had gone from sheepish to horrified.  "What?  He kicked the Captain in the goolies?  When?"

"After his first release from the medibay.  Clearly premature."

"I dunno what happened.  I was having a nap.  I woke up and he was screaming "GO AWAY!!!".  I couldn't get him to answer me so I rang the emergency number.  I don't get why the mushrooms haven't worn off yet."

Todhunter had no need to exaggerate his stern reply.  "What were you thinking?  How could you be so irresponsible?"

Lister's face went through a series of expressions - guilt, embarrassment, uncertainty - before settling on decisiveness.  "Sir, I have a confession.  I lied."

"About what?"

"I didn't do it on purpose.  I thought they were regular mushrooms.  I had a hangover and was gagging for a fry-up."

"What?  Why lie when you were already in trouble?"

"'Cos I didn't want to get anyone else into trouble."

 

 

 

Torn between exasperation and a sudden urge to pat Lister's head, the officer grasped thankfully at this excuse to get him out of his office.

"In light of this new information," he gabbled, "I shall have to consult the Captain before I decide how to proceed.  You may go."

Lister got to his feet, then hesitated.  "I'm still getting punished though, right?"

Todhunter exhaled, his face hot.  "Oh yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to LordValeryMimes for the last minute beta. :)
> 
> This was inspired by Tumblr discussions. You all know who you are. ;)


End file.
